When the alarm goes off in the morning you eventually get out of bed. But let me ask, what would you rather do? Outside of your birthday or special holidays you’d probably rather roll over and go back to bed, right? The warmth of the covers, the softness of the pillow – they invite you to stay just a little longer. Then for lunch you order the salad. But again, what would you rather do? You’d rather order the cheeseburger and fries.

After my liver transplant, the first few weeks of recovery were filled with things I didn’t want to do. I was weak and my body was frail. I wanted to lie in bed, push my pain medication button, and watch Sports Center on repeat. I didn’t want to go to physical therapy. I didn’t want to take walks around the floor. And I didn’t want to do my breathing breathing exercises with the little device (incentive spirometer) they provided after surgery.

But not doing these things would have kept me from my ultimate goal: recovery. 

Choosing between what you should do versus what you want to do

Choosing between what we should do versus what we want to do is a daily, often hour-by-hour decision. Some of these decisions between what we feel like doing and what we don’t have little impact one way or the other. But what about the decisions that do have a big impact? 

Continually choosing to eat the cheeseburger over the salad will undoubtedly lead to a larger waistline. But what about choosing to ignore a calling you feel compelled to pursue? That thing you feel you were designed to do.

An unrealized passion can be drawn out of just about anyone if you talk to them long enough. For the fortunate ones, they’re actually doing it. But for the unfortunate ones they aren’t. “I have a good job, but I would love to…” Or, “I have a good job, but my dream is to…” 

It’s not a matter of being ungrateful for what you have. It’s not even a matter of being uncommitted to your current role. Most often it’s the inability to make that dream a reality.

Whether it’s a book, a business – whatever it may be, you have something insider you, but you’re unsure how to bring it out.

It’s an unmet calling. When suppressed long enough it leads to bitterness, even resentment. If you feel this way and you have this thing, this idea inside of you,you have a responsibility to bring it to fruition. 

Your responsibility

Our Creator bestowed upon each one of us gifts and abilities. But too often fear stands in the way. Think about it for a moment: What if Michael Jordan had never picked up a basketball? What if J.R.R. Tolkien had never picked up a pen? 

You might push back and say it’s a matter of time rather than fear. “I’m not afraid to do it. I just don’t have the time to commit to it.” But again, let’s step into the “what if” scenario. What if you tried and it provided more joy than you imagined? What if the joy it provides is greater than the fear holding you back? 

Left alone, fear will grow. Eventually it can paralyze you.

Just because someone is gifted doesn’t mean there won’t be fear associated with the task of pursuing that thing. Even a bird must experience some trepidation the first time it leaps from its nest.

But we’ve been misled to believe if we were meant to do something it will be natural, without fear… You see, when you ignore what you were designed to do, you never realize your potential. For some, it might be the calling to become a writer. And for others it could be a career as a garbage man. We’re all different! My dreams aren’t your dreams. And neither are yours mine.

But how many of the worlds greatest artisans will never be realized for fear of leaving their 9 to 5? How many of the world’s greatest chefs will never cook for anyone other than themselves?

Permission to begin

It’s often said, but bears repeating: you’re never too young or too old to start. Looking at most 5-year olds, It’s hard to fathom, but that was the age of Mozart when he began composing. 

Towards the other end of the age continuum, Steven pressfield was 52 before his first book was published. “I wrote for 27 years before I got my first novel published (The Legend of Bagger Vance). During that time I worked 21 different jobs in eleven states,” Pressfield explains.

Why aren’t you living that dream? It could be you were told to get a “real” job, one that your parents and peers approved of. Heck, maybe it’s one you approve of. You didn’t do the work, the soul searching required to understand the gravity of such a decision. 

We set limits on ourselves. We see someone wildly successful in their career with envy. Good for them, but I could never do that. They have more education, more experience, they’re younger, older, better looking, more outgoing, they caught a break because they were in the right place at the right time. 

Your excuses become the antidote to those feelings, those desires that often well up inside you. The ones that lead you to long for that to which you were called. 

But, after all, you missed the opportunity. You have kids now, a mortgage to pay, and you can’t afford to chase some fantasy. You have to be serious and take yourself seriously. You need those around you to take you seriously.

But may I offer this: for each of your excuses there is someone who has had it and prevailed.

Take Kyle Maynard, for example. He was born with a rare condition called congenital amputation. He doesn’t have arms or legs, but it hasn’t kept him from doing what he was born to do. He was the first person to scale Mount Kilimanjaro and Aconcagua without limbs or prosthetics. And behind Kyyle there’s an endless list of those who have overcome mountain-sized obstacles to do the things they’ve dreamed of.

“I believe that everyone has a mission and purpose in their life. Some people get caught up with wanting things to be perfect, but when you have a disability nothing is ever going to be perfect. You’re always going to have to figure out a way to adapt and overcome.”

From idea to reality

Finding a true calling doesn’t happen by mistake. Many adults never find it. Because there are essential steps you must take. Going from idea to reality doesn’t happen overnight. And that should provide comfort. It means you have the safety of a runway to get you from where you are to where you might want to be.

If that idea swirling in the back of your mind is to ever become more than that, you need a plan. 

First, identify what you’re truly passionate about. 

Just because you like something or enjoy an activity doesn’t mean you’re passionate about it. Before you pursue an idea, you need to know whether it’s something you’re passionate about or just a fleeting thought. What’s something you get lost in? 

Depending on how much experience you have with it, think back to the last time you did this thing (or anything like it). How did you feel? What did time look like? It’s a strange question, but one to consider. Time seems irrelevant when you’re doing the thing you’re passionate about. 

This first step involves sitting down with pen and paper and identifying what that is. Many people think they know, but often they haven’t quite put their finger on it. Beyond enjoying the act of doing something, it needs that lights you up.

It’s the difference between seeing an acquaintance come into the room or your best friend come into the room. You may feel good when you see the former come through the door. But when your best friend enters the room you get excited. Your heart rate may even increase.

What is it that increases your heart rate when you do it or think about it?

The next step is to give yourself room to think about it. Take an afternoon or evening and make a plan to get closer to it. This doesn’t mean you’re going to turn in your two week’s notice.

It’s simply getting closer to it. It’s kind of like starting a dating relationship. You’re not married to it. The basis of your commitment is to know if you want to go deeper with it.

For example, if you want to write a book but you’ve done little writing, start with a blog. Or even a word document you keep for yourself. Before you can go deeper with it, you need to know for yourself whether you truly enjoy the act of doing this thing.

After you’ve determined what this thing is exactly (you’ve clearly defineid it and have been doing it for a few months) itell those nearest you (often those it will affect most). But not before the plan is well thought out. Because you need to be ready for their response. Don’t be surprised if it’s not met with the same level of excitement. The way you feel about this can be difficult to communicate.

Once you’ve completed these first two steps, you’re ready to identify how you can make money off it. Or at the very least get value from it. At first, that could just mean you feel fulfilled after doing it. It has to be enough that you’re willing to sacrifice something for it whether it’s time, money, or something else you enjoy.

In this third step you don’t actually have to begin monetizing it, but you need to have an idea of how you could. This is moving past the dating relationship. It’s a much more serious commitment. It can be scary to think about. But like shopping for engagement rings, there should be a lot of excitement as well.

Look at others who are doing something similar. Take a look at how they got their start. It can start as a simple online search. But then find someone you can take to lunch. The things you learn during a one-on-one conversation will be invaluable in this early stage.

Conclusion

The thought of doing something with this idea can seem daunting. But taking a few simple steps can take it from an idea you talk about to reality. There’s a reason this idea won’t leave you alone. Take a moment to consider, “what if?”