When life gives you limes: and you can’t make anything out of them
When you can’t find any good in the trials of life.
If you do an online search for “homemade lemonade recipe” you’ll get an endless list of lemonade recipes. It’s proof this sour citrus can be turned into something refreshing. Anyone who’s sipped a glass of lemonade knows what can be created with a bowl of lemons. But what do you do with a bowl of limes?Similar to their yellow counterpart, but hardly as functional. The trials of life can be similar. The loss of a job often leads to a better opportunity. Even a wrong turn can yield a serendipitous discovery. But what about the loss of health? What about the loss of someone you love?
When life serves you limes...
Failing health rarely provides an experience upgrade. And it’s difficult to see any good from the loss of life. When faced with declining health or loss of a loved one, it can be difficult to see the silver lining. A positive diagnosis can be one of life’s most sour experiences. I’ve experienced the fear of terminal illness and I’ve felt the pain of losing a loved one. I want to share with you a time I was served a bowl of limes and what I did with it.When I was thirteen years old I went to the doctor for a cold. Rather than a cold medication prescription, I came out the other side needing a liver transplant.I was facing the same fate that had taken both my father and grandfather. At thirteen, life had just begun. I wasn’t ready for it to be over. When I was diagnosed with a terminal illness, I could hardly wrap my mind around it. It was the type of news you vicariously experience from afar – praying the Lord would heal a close friend or loved one. But when the news is directed at you...it’s an entirely different experience.After the initial shock, I was left wondering, “What do I do with this news?” From that moment forward I was struck with alternating waves of determination and fear. Like a swimmer trying to find the current, I let the positive tide of determination carry me. But in a moment my world would summersault from the rolling current of fear.It became a practice of stamina – was exhausting at times.I’m not a big fan of running. However, I can manage to run a few miles if motivated. But I’ve found that running becomes even more difficult when you don’t know where the end is. My wife is an avid runner. I’ll often run with her during the first few days of her marathon training schedule. If you’re unfamiliar with long distance training, you start with short distances and progressively increase your distance leading up to the race. Her method of running often involves following the tracking of her watch. However, without the watch, I have no clue how far we have to go.Winded and out of breath, I’ll often ask, “How much farther?” Her response: “Just keep running!”Energy preservation is much easier when you know the distance ahead. Trials without a clear end are similar. You begin with confidence – with every intention of finishing strong. But somewhere in between the beginning and the end, you tire. Without a visual of the finish line, you lose hope.What started as a steady stride slows to a jog, then a walk. Before you know it, the anxiety, fear, and frustration have crippled your pace. Rather than keeping an appearance, dignity has gone out the window and all you desire is an end to come. The persistent pain of trials has a way of wearing a person down.Whoever said, “pain is weakness leaving the body” didn’t understand pain.
Does pain serve a benefit?
Strength may grow out of pain. But I don’t judge you for feeling weaker while enduring pain. Whether it’s the physical pain of a sickness or the emotional pain of loss, pain is difficult to endure.Some may argue that pain is just that: a toxic experience that we must endure. But I would argue that all pain provides a benefit. Nothing good comes without pain.Your life was created out of the pain of your mother’s labor.Societies, cultures, and countries are built through the painful toil of hard-working men and women. Everything worth striving for requires a certain amount of discomfort. But each of these painful experiences has a beautiful result. A mother’s labor yields a beautiful baby. Hard work in a professional setting results in a promotion.But what about the experiences that don’t seem to yield any benefit?
What do you do when life gives you a bowl of limes?
When life provides a bitter experience, it can be difficult to know what to do with it. But what do you do when you’re standing in the middle of a dark tunnel without a light at the end? You can choose to remain in the darkness, or you can choose to press on.Rather than focussing on the sour taste, I want to encourage you to consider an alternative.
Keep going.
Keep going...until you can’t. There’s no shame in stopping. Realize that you may run out of strength. Everyone has a breaking point. But use the collapse to gather strength and then pick yourself up and keep going.
Lean on those around you.
When you reach your breaking point, when you want to collapse – if you do collapse – you need to have someone to help you get back up. Let your full weight rest on those around you. You must be willing to depend on those closest to you. They can become your springboard to get back up and keep going. Don’t shoulder this burden alone.
Look for the silver lining.
It’s completely understandable to look for the silver lining in the middle of the storm. However, you may not find it at first. It may take months and even years to see any good come from your struggle. But if you’re willing, you will find it.
Conclusion
Can you relate? Have you experienced the long journey that a trial of life can provide? Or maybe you’re currently experiencing one of these trials. Does the end seem out of reach? Are you somewhere between the beginning and the end?I want to encourage you to keep going, but don’t forget to lean on those around you.