Thank you for waiting: how to alleviate the anxiety of waiting
I’m sitting in my wife’s hospital room anticipating the birth of my third child as I write this. For better or worse it’s forced me to consider this activity we all hate: waiting. It's appropriate because I’m in a hospital, an institution notorious for waiting.
Waiting is an interesting activity. As a society, we don’t have enough time until we’re forced to wait. Our lives can be summed up by the number of times we wait – from the big moments of life like waiting for the birth of a child to the mundane moments like sitting at a stop light or waiting for the microwave to warm our food.
Waiting can be a difficult task. No one enjoys it.
Waiting rooms might as well be the room of a thousand deaths. Several years ago, Sequence conducted a survey in which 63% of participants said waiting was the worst part of a doctor’s appointment.
Begin typing “waiting” into Google and the search engine automatically populates, “how many days do you have to wait for a pregnancy test.” Sometimes we wait in excitement. Other times in fear. In between the two emotions is uncertainty. Waiting can be the worst part of an experience. And depending on what you’re waiting for, it makes the resolution that much better or worse.
Number of times you wait each day
No matter how much you may loathe the activity, waiting is and always will be a large part of your day.
Each morning you wait for the water in the shower to warm up. If you’re a coffee drinker (like yours truly) you have to wait for your coffee to be made in one form or another. You might also have to wait for the microwave to heat your breakfast or the garage door to open. And that’s before you’ve even left your house for the day.
Soon after you leave your driveway you’ll encounter a stoplight that demands your patience. You can multiply that number by 10 unless you live in Nowhere, USA.
Throughout the day you’ll also wait while…
Sitting behind the driver who hasn’t realized the light has turned green.
The elevator arrives.
Sitting on hold with customer service.
Waiting for tech support to solve your problem.
Standing at the deli counter for your sandwich to be made.
Standing in line at the grocery store.
Of course, there are countless other reasons you might be forced to wait throughout the day. Whether you tolerate it or not, waiting is an inevitable part of life.
But exactly how much do you wait?
Waiting statistics
Just how much of your life do you spend waiting? According to a Timex survey, Americans wait:
- on average of 20 minutes a day waiting for the bus or train
- 32 minutes waiting when you visit a doctor
- 28 minutes in security lines when you travel
- 21 minutes for your significant other to get ready to go out
- 13 hours annually waiting on hold for a customer service
- 38 hours each year waiting in traffic
- those of you who live in large cities wait in traffic more than 50 hours annually
If you add all our time together, Americans collectively spend 37 billion hours each year waiting in line.
As humans, we spend approximately 6 months of our lives waiting in lines. The average person spends about 43 days on hold with automated customer service in one lifetime. If you take public transportation you will wait about 27 days of your life waiting on the platform or bus stop.
Why we wait
We wait for two main reasons:
First, we wait because of a self-imposed timeline. This could include fasting or any other form of self-discipline such as delayed gratification to make the commencement that much more glorious (such as an engaged couple).
And secondly, we wait out of obligation. There are countless times we’re forced to wait. Due to circumstances out of our control, we’re often required to wait in line at sporting events, wait in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, or wait for a package to arrive.
Why waiting sucks
Waiting can be frustrating. FedEx clearly understand the frustration associated with it. One of their most famous advertisements explained, “Waiting is frustrating, demoralizing, agonizing, aggravating, annoying, time-consuming and incredibly expensive.”
And there’s a reason we have such a hard time waiting. According to David Maister’s paper, The Psychology of Waiting Lines, there are 8 factors that make the wait seem longer.
1. Unoccupied time feels longer than occupied time.
Time seems to move faster when were distracted. The owners of skyscrapers often install mirrors around elevators to help people pass the time looking at themselves while waiting for the elevator.
2. People want to get started.
One of the reasons restaurants give you a menu while you wait is because it makes you feel like you’re one step closer to getting your food.
3. Anxiety makes waits seem longer.
There’s a slew of emotions associated with waiting – anxiety is one of the worst. The wait will seem longer if you’re worried about the outcome. If you worry the airline has lost your baggage it may seem like an eternity for it to come around the carousel.
4. Uncertain waits are longer than known, finite waits.
It’s easier to wait patiently when you’re told, “The doctor will see you in thirty minutes” rather than, “The doctor will see you soon.”
5. Unexplained waits are longer than explained waits.
If your waiter explains the restaurant is busy, you’ll be more patient for your meal than if there seems to be no reason for the wait.
6. Unfair waits are longer than equitable waits.
Back to the restaurant: we tend to get anxious if the table seated after us gets their food before we do. We all want a fair wait.
7. The more valuable the service, the longer the customer will wait.
Our willingness to wait can be correlated to our perceived value of what we’re waiting for. Diehard Apple customers will wait in endless lines for the latest technology release. It’d be a different picture if they were looking to buy a new pair of shoelaces.
8. Solo waits feel longer than group waits.
Waiting alone at the DMV is a completely different experience than waiting with a group of friends for a concert to begin. Time passes faster when you’re waiting with a group.
Disney and waiting
If you’ve spent any time at a Walt Disney theme park, you know waiting is an essential part of the experience. What you didn’t realize are the measures they take to eliminate the pain of waiting.
You’ll never find more joy in waiting than when you do it at Disney World. Disney has found a way to make the act of waiting for an enjoyable experience — or less painful anyway.
Because they understand their customer’s disdain for lines, they build entertainment into the lines of their rides. Depending upon the ride, you might progress through a story, see captivating visuals, or interact with characters.
They also post wait times at the beginning of lines to remove uncertainty. And to prevent overwhelm, you’ll never find a straight line at Disney World or Disney Land. Every line winds through a series of turns to prevent you from seeing the length of the line.
But their most effective way of eliminating the pain of waiting is their Fastpass. The Disney Fastpass Service, FastPass+, and MaxPass are virtual queuing systems that allow you to skip the lines of attractions.
Without a doubt, The Magic Kingdom is a wonderful place. But if you want the magic and wonder without the wait (and you’re still searching for ways to avoid lines) look no further than Bob Sehlinger’s Touring Plans.
The statistician began publishing The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World in 1984 after two years of research and field trials on the study of lines at the Orlando theme park. His website and app can help you avoid up to 4 hours of waiting in line per day at both Walt Disney World and Walt Disney Land.
How to eliminate the anxiety of waiting
Whether you know the length of the wait or not, there’s a certain amount of anxiety associated with waiting. But there are several ways to eliminate it depending upon the situation.
Remove uncertainty
A few years ago Software Advice conducted a survey about hospital wait times. 80% of respondents said being told the wait time would either completely or partially minimize their frustration.
As a society, we hate waiting, but uncertainty makes it even worse. Mental Floss explains the simple yet brilliant ways restaurants remove uncertainty while waiting to be seated.
First, you provide the hostess with your name so you know the restaurant knows you’re there and they’re working to get you seated. From there you’ll be given estimated wait time. Next, you can grab a menu to make productive use of your time. And on top of that, the hostess will often offer a seat at the bar to distract yourself during the wait.
Occupy your mind
Speaking of distraction, it’s the greatest remedy for an impatient mind. Time flies when you’re having fun, but the opposite is also true.
To satisfy customers over the long wait times, Houston Airport moved the arrival gates further away from baggage claim. Rather than standing around waiting for their baggage, customers were preoccupied with the longer walk.
Have you ever noticed the mirrors around most elevator banks? The idea began during the post-World War II economic boom. The increase of skyscrapers led to complaints associated with elevator delays. The idea was similar to Houston Airport: occupy people’s time and the wait will seem shorter.
Supermarkets have taken advantage of our unoccupied time. Impulse-buy items, such as packs of gum and gossip magazines, earn supermarkets nearly $5.5 billion annually.
Want a simple way to occupy your time? In his book, On Writing, Stephen King recommends carrying book to make better use of waiting.
Find support
As we previously discovered, waiting alone seems to take longer than when you’re waiting with a group. Whether you’re waiting for dinner or a diagnosis, waiting with someone will help alleviate the anxiety.
Plan for the resolution
Planning is not only a way to pass the downtime of waiting, but it’s also an effective use of it. Many times the wait is needed to prepare for the resolution.
Take career advancement for example. You want the promotion more than anything. But the time spent waiting can help you prepare for the new role.
The same can be said about parenting. Often nine months is needed for a soon-to-be father or mother to get his or her act together.
Whether you’re waiting for a promotion or the birth of a child, make the most of your waiting time to be better prepared.
Embrace the wait
Unless you find a shortcut, there’s no way around it. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and wait. Waiting is an essential part of every process. Without it, we’d move from activity to activity and burn out.
Waiting can either lead to a build-up of anxiety or be seen as a refining process. If you allow yourself to embrace the wait, it can become a tool to prepare you for what lies ahead.
Conclusion
Patience is a virtue, and waiting is a mandatory part of our lives. Whether you’re choosing to wait or forced to, focus on these 8 anxiety eliminating practices to make the wait more enjoyable.
Oh, and P.S. Our baby arrived.
